The Awakened Family: How to Raise Empowered, Resilient, and Conscious Children

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Also by the Author......Page 2 Title Page......Page 3 Copyright......Page 4 Dedication......Page 5 Contents......Page 6 The Mandate of the Awakened Family......Page 12 Part One: A New Awakening......Page 14 CHAPTER ONE: Learning a New Way......Page 15 The Roar of the Ego......Page 20 How Fear Drives Our Anxiety, Anger, and Other Reactions to Our Children......Page 22 The Part Played by Your Past......Page 25 Is It Your Child, or Is It You?......Page 26 How Our Children Are Our Awakeners......Page 28 A Shift of Focus......Page 31 CHAPTER TWO: How the Culture Sets Up Parents to Fail......Page 33 When Caring Feels Like Control......Page 34 The Clash of Time Zones......Page 36 What Children Really Need......Page 38 CHAPTER THREE: The Invisible Triggers of Our Reactivity......Page 41 The Roots of Our Triggers......Page 44 The Parental Kool-Aid......Page 46 Part Two: Our Parenting Myths......Page 50 The Problem with Child-Centric Parenting......Page 51 The Tyranny of “Too”......Page 54 Is Parenting Really an Unselfish Act?......Page 57 Dare to Raise Yourself First......Page 58 CHAPTER FIVE......Page 64 Agenda-Driven Fun......Page 65 The Curve Shows Up Everywhere......Page 67 The Double-Edged Sword of “Reaching for One’s Potential”......Page 69 The “Unpotentialized” Child......Page 71 Putting Things in Perspective......Page 73 CHAPTER SIX......Page 77 Is It Defiance or Defensiveness?......Page 80 Double Standards......Page 82 CHAPTER SEVEN......Page 85 Moving from the Fantasy of Parenting to Reality......Page 86 CHAPTER EIGHT......Page 90 Love Is Only a Beginning......Page 91 When Love Doesn’t Feel Like Love to a Child......Page 92 Rethinking Our Ideas About Love......Page 94 CHAPTER NINE......Page 98 Engaging Life “As Is”—Being Versus Doing......Page 101 Learning About Happiness from Children......Page 103 CHAPTER TEN......Page 106 Understanding the Limits of Our Control......Page 107 Reframing the Concept of Control in Order to Raise Real Humans......Page 109 Part Three: Understanding Our Reactivity......Page 113 CHAPTER ELEVEN: Raising the Real Child......Page 114 How I Began to Awaken......Page 115 Recognizing the Call of the Lost Self......Page 119 Befriending Our Lost Self......Page 120 Discovering Your Family’s Emotional Blueprint......Page 122 CHAPTER TWELVE: What’s Really Behind Our Reactions......Page 126 Typical Pathways for the Expression of Fear......Page 127 The Core of Our Fear......Page 129 Entering Trust, Abundance, and Empowerment......Page 150 CHAPTER THIRTEEN: Transforming Fear into Consciousness......Page 151 Emerging from the Shadows of the Past......Page 155 Letting Go of Fantasy Parents......Page 158 Separating Love from Fear......Page 161 A New Path Lights Up Ahead of Us......Page 164 Part Four: Transformative Parenting Skills......Page 167 CHAPTER FOURTEEN: From Expectations to Engagement......Page 168 The Problem with Well-Intentioned Expectations......Page 171 What’s the Unmet Expectation?......Page 173 Out of the Head and into the Heart......Page 175 The Dance of Nonduality......Page 177 The Freedom of Engaging......Page 179 Transforming Expectation into Engaging......Page 183 CHAPTER FIFTEEN: From Mindless Reaction to Mindful Presence......Page 186 Entering the Present Moment......Page 187 The Power of Impermanence......Page 190 The Abundance of the “As Is”......Page 192 Your Reaction Is Your Child’s Trigger......Page 197 Transforming Reaction to Authentic Expression......Page 200 CHAPTER SIXTEEN: From Chaos to Stillness......Page 205 The Power of Silence......Page 206 When Talking Creates Trouble—and the Value of Deep Listening......Page 209 Discovering the Power of Your Presence......Page 213 Making Time for Time......Page 215 CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: From Role to No-Role......Page 218 Tapping Into the Guidance of the Universe......Page 220 Entering the No-Role Zone: Insights from Nature......Page 221 The Power of the Antidote......Page 226 The Power of the Container......Page 227 Creating Rooms of Light......Page 229 CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: From Emotions to Feelings......Page 234 Creating a Direct Path to Feeling......Page 242 CHAPTER NINETEEN: From Enmeshment to Autonomy......Page 248 The Pitfall of Emotional Fusion......Page 251 Developing Emotional Autonomy......Page 252 Don’t Fear Dissent......Page 254 Embracing Pain......Page 256 CHAPTER TWENTY: From Judgment to Empathy......Page 258 What Empathy Really Means......Page 261 How to Empathically Address the Realities of Life......Page 266 Empathy Does Not Mean Collusion......Page 268 Decluttering Your Inner Landscape......Page 270 CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: From Discipline to Enlightened Boundaries......Page 273 You Cannot Set a Boundary You Don’t Have......Page 274 What’s the Higher Purpose of Your Boundary?......Page 276 Where Do Consequences and Punishment Fit In?......Page 279 The Power of Clear Limits and Boundaries......Page 281 The Mechanics of Holding a Limit......Page 283 How Do Natural and Logical Consequences Really Work?......Page 285 What’s Your Embodiment Quotient?......Page 289 Entering the Zone of Zero Hypocrisy......Page 292 Redefining Discipline......Page 295 Listening for the Untold Desire......Page 297 Moving Away from Blind Indulgence......Page 300 From Winning to Win-Win......Page 302 Ending Sibling Wars......Page 307 Subduing Divorce Drama......Page 309 Red Flag Alert: Getting on a New Highway......Page 311 The Courage to Be a Warrior of Peace......Page 312 EPILOGUE: Shedding Skin, Shedding Light......Page 314 APPENDIX: Thirty Daily Reminders to Build Consciousness......Page 316 Acknowledgments......Page 324 About the Author......Page 325