Labor of Love: The Invention of Dating

Description

"Does anyone date anymore?" Today, the authorities tell us that courtship is in crisis. But when Moira Weigel dives into the history of sex and romance in modern America, she discovers that authorities have always said this. Ever since young men and women started to go out together, older generations have scolded them: That's not the way to find true love. The first women who made dates with strangers were often arrested for prostitution; long before "hookup culture," there were "petting parties"; before parents worried about cell phone apps, they fretted about joyrides and "parking." Dating is always dying. But this does not mean that love is dead. It simply changes with the economy. Dating is, and always has been, tied to work. Lines like “I’ll pick you up at six” made sense at a time when people had jobs that started and ended at fixed hours. But in an age of contract work and flextime, many of us have become sexual freelancers, more likely to text a partner “u still up?” Weaving together over one hundred years of history with scenes from the contemporary landscape, Labor of Love offers a fresh feminist perspective on how we came to date the ways we do. This isn't a guide to “getting the guy.” There are no ridiculous “rules” to follow. Instead, Weigel helps us understand how looking for love shapes who we are—and hopefully leads us closer to the happy ending that dating promises. "A radical Marxist feminist tract disguised as a salmon-pink self-help book." --Laurie Penny, The New Statesman "Much juicier than your average history book . . . [it] reads like a documentary about something you never knew could be so interesting." --BUST "As compulsively readable as any self-help dating book, Moira Weigel's Labor of Love is an original, exhaustive study of courtship in the United States across two centuries. As Weigel finds, advances in technology don't necessarily equate with mores: women still serve as the assigned arbiters and police of all things sexual, from holding hands to giving birth. But more than polemic, Labor of Love is a heartfelt work, written from and speaking to the need for intimate connection that animates our willingness to navigate these complex and contradictory codes." --Chris Kraus, author of I Love Dick "Labor of Love is a brilliant history of courtship, love, and sex that is also a brilliant investigation into profound changes in the nature of American work, leisure, consumer society, education, and city life over the twentieth-century and into the new millennium. Elegantly written, gratifyingly clear-eyed, and sharply funny, it restores the essential strangeness of dating, while expertly navigating the fraught contemporary debates over its meaning." --Nikil Saval, author of Cubed: A Secret History of the Workplace "Labor of Love is a work of essential social history. This is by far the best treatment of courtship, romance, and that awkward squirmy ritual we call a 'date' I've ever read." --Christian Rudder, author of Datacylsm: Who We Are (When We Think No One's Looking) and founder of OkCupid "Instead of going out tonight, do yourself a favor: stay in and read this book. Moira Weigel and her genre-bending history of dating are excellent, illuminating company." --Astra Taylor, author of The People's Platform and director of Examined Life and Zizek! Moira Weigel was born in Brooklyn. Her writing has appeared in The Guardian, The Nation, The New Republic, n+1, and The New Inquiry, among other publications, and she is currently completing a PhD in Comparative Literature at Yale University. After years of first-person research on dating, she is off the market. Labor of Love is her first book. Cover Title Page Dedication Introduction: Dates 1. Tricks 2. Likes 3. Outs 4. School 5. Steadies 6. Freedom 7. Niches 8. Protocol 9. Plans 10. Help Afterword: Love Selected Bibliography Acknowledgments Acknowledgments A Note About the Author Copyright