A Second Classroom: Parent-Teacher Relationships in a Waldorf School

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"Finser's style is warm, knowledgeable and sometimes provocative. He freely weaves his personal experiences with those of others. It's a disarming style that invites you in, and like a true friend, asks you to think about what you're doing. Into this mix, he also weaves aspects of Anthroposophy that will appeal to teacher and parent. Whether it's about Family Constellations, Spiritual Streams or the Problem of Evil, Finser presents it in a down-to-earth and, at the same time, inspiring way. "Who would like this book or find it useful and inspiring? Highly recommended for any parent or teacher in a Waldorf school, as well as anyone interested in Waldorf education. It's a wonderful guide to accompany you and your friends on the road ahead." ―David Kennedy, Waldorf Today What does a healthy, successful school look like? Is it all about measurable outcomes, test scores, and pass/fail grades set by the government? Can learning be quantified in short-term measurements or does real learning take years to manifest in a career or biography? All seem to agree that a healthy school is also a community and that community depends on the quality of relationships―chiefly the relationships among students, teachers, and parents. This book features a comprehensive examination of the parent–teacher relationship in all its dimensions, from parent evenings and conferences to communication, conflict, and the life-cycle of parent involvement in their school. In between the chapters on practical advice are sections that consider the issues from a deeper, spiritual dimension. This book is intended to stimulate conversation, self-reflection, and relational practices that awaken community life in and around our schools. “The world of parent–teacher relations has grown more complex over the years and at its worst can feel like a minefield. Torin de-mines and demystifies the experience with information, insights, stories, and warmth, creating a safe passage for teachers and parents.” ―Joan Almon, Waldorf educator and cofounder of Alliance for Childhood “Readers of my books will appreciate Torin’s approach to parent–teacher relations. He looks at the key issues through various lenses and gives both practical and spiritual advice to all who seek to build healthy relationships around our school-age children. I highly recommend this new book!” ―Thomas Moore, bestselling author of Care of the Soul “What Torin has so sensitively crafted here will give you greater simplicity and spaciousness in school community life. I highly recommend this book to all parents and teachers, but especially to those connected to Waldorf schools.” ―Kim John Payne, M.Ed., author of Simplicity Parenting and Beyond Winning “This book is a call for parents and teachers to work more effectively together on behalf of our children. Torin uses a variety of approaches to stimulate conversation and help us strengthen the communities around our schools. I highly recommend this provocative book!” ―David Sobel, author of Place-Based Education: Connecting Classrooms and Communities Title Page Copyright Contents Dedication Acknowledgments Preface 1: Words of Advice 2: Self-less-ness 3: In Your Face 4: The Inner Dimensions of Thinking, Feeling, Willing 5: Barriers 6: Relationships and Martin Buber 7: Hard-to-Handle Parents 8: The Third Space 9: Hammershus 10: At the Foundation I. The role of the parent as seen through the lens of the first panel II. The role of the teacher as seen through the lens of the second panel III. In service of the Child as seen through the lens of the third panel 11: Communication 12: Conflict 13: Shards of Glass: When Ideals are Shattered A parent's disappointment with a teacher A Teacher's Disappointment with a School 14: Dance of the Shadows Parents Have Needs, Too 15: Why Parent Organizations Are so Difficult to Sustain Vision and Mission The Tasks of a PTO Attendance 16: The Life Cycle of Parent Involvement in a School 17: The Problem of Evil 18: The Veteran Teacher The Gifts of Experience The Personal Sacrifices Career Issues 19: Round Churches 20: The Importance of Administration The Front Office and Receptionist The Business Manger The Development Director The Administrator 21: Family of Origin as Basis for Social Interactions The Only Child The First Child The Second Child The Third Child 22: Parent–Teacher Conferences Practical Tips The Parent–Teacher Conversation 23: Parent–Teacher Conferences as Reverse Ritual 24: The Uber-volunteer 25: Beyond 26: Parent Evenings, Class Nights 27: Mothers and Fathers 28: Spiritual Streams The Path of Knowledge The Path of Doing. The Path of Healing 29: Waldorphans 30: Inclusion 31: An Extension of Consciousness 32: Survey Results Support and Understanding of the Education Lifestyle Issues Boundaries 33: The Door Appendices Parent–teacher Survey: Letter to Parents and Teachers Dear Parents and Teachers in Waldorf Schools, TEACHER QUESTIONNAIRE ON PARENT–TEACHER RELATIONS RESEARCH PROJECT: THE SECOND CLASSROOM PARENT QUESTIONNAIRE FOR PARENT–TEACHER RELATIONS RESEARCH PROJECT: THE SECOND CLASSROOM PARENT SURVEY: QUESTION 9 PARENT SURVEY: QUESTION 10 PARENT SURVEY: QUESTION 11 PARENT SURVEY: QUESTION 12 PARENT SURVEY: QUESTION 13 FOLLOW-UP INTERVIEWS When the Relationships Break Down When Relationships Serve the Needs of Parents and Teachers Regarding Moms and Dads Student Experience TAKKEN WISH EVOLVING CONSCIOUSNESS REMEMBERING MR. ATKINSON ZOE AARONSON TILDEN LEONARD-FRITZMEIER EVOLVING CONSCIOUSNESS: REFLECTION PAPER NINE LEVELS OF ESCALATION Reading the Face Roadblocks to Listening Comparing Rehearsing Mind Reading Judging Identifying Advising Diverting Being Right Placating Why on Earth? Core Principles of Waldorf Education Use of Rhythm and Repetition Bibliography