The Tao of Fully Feeling: Harvesting Forgiveness Out of Blame

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Pete Walker The Tao of Fully Feeling: Harvesting Forgiveness Out of Blame PDF This book is a guide to emotional health. The degree of an individual's mental health is often seen in the degree to which s/he can love and respect her/himself and others, in a myriad of different feeling states. Real self-esteem and real intimacy with others depends on the ability to lovingly be there for oneself and others, whether one's feeling experience is pleasant or unpleasant. Those who can only be there for themselves or another during the "good" times show no constancy, inspire little trust, and are only "fair weather friends" to themselves and others. Without access to our dysphoric feelings, we are deprived of the most fundamental part of our ability to notice when something is unfair, abusive, or neglectful. Those who cannot feel their sadness often do not know when they are being unfairly excluded, and those who cannot feel their normal angry or fearful responses to abuse, are often in danger of putting up with it without protest. Repressing our emotions creates anxiety and stress, and stress, like most of our emotions is often treated like some unwanted waste that must be removed. Until all of the emotions are accepted indiscriminately (and acceptance does not imply license to dump emotions irresponsibly or abusively), there can be no wholeness, no real sense of well being, and no solid sense of self esteem. Thus, while it may be fairly easy to like oneself when feelings of love, happiness or serenity are present, deeper psychological health is seen only in the individual who can maintain a posture of self-compassion and self-respect in the times of emotional hurt that accompany life's inevitable losses, disappointments and unforseen difficulties. This book also guides the reader to grieve through unresolved pain from a traumatic childhood. It further explores the differences between real forgiveness and forgiveness as denial and self-deception.