Ask the past: pertinent and impertinent advice from yesteryear

Description

Want to know how to garden with lobsters' How to sober up' Grow a beard' Or simply how to make a perfect omelet' Look no further. Rather, look backward. Based on the popular blog, Ask the Past is full of the wisdom of the ages--as well as the fad diets, zany pickup lines, and bacon Band-Aids of the ages. Drawn from centuries of antique texts by historian and bibliophile Elizabeth P. Archibald, Ask the Past offers a delightful array of advice both wise and weird. Whether it's eighteenth-century bedbug advice (sprinkle bed with gunpowder and let smolder), budget fashion tips of the Middle Ages (save on the clothes, splurge on the purse) or a sixteenth-century primer on seduction (hint: do no pass gas), Ask the Past is a wildly entertaining guide to life from the people who lived it first.;Intro; Title Page; Welcome; Introduction; A Note about the Texts; How to Impress Girls at a Dance; How to Kill Bedbugs; How to Tell If Someone Is or Is Not Dead; How to Treat Freshmen; How to Chat with a Woman; How to Fart; How to Attack an Enemy Ship; How to Talk about Your Kids; How to Look Good on a Budget; How to Get Rid of a Contentious Man; How to Sober Up; How to Care for Your Cat; How to Trim Your Toenails Underwater; How to Walk on Water; How to Catch Flies; How to Cure a Nosebleed; How to Blow Your Nose; How to Make a Pastry Castle; How to Pack for a Journey; How to Avoid Pregnancy Intro Title Page Welcome Introduction A Note about the Texts How to Impress Girls at a Dance How to Kill Bedbugs How to Tell If Someone Is or Is Not Dead How to Treat Freshmen How to Chat with a Woman How to Fart How to Attack an Enemy Ship How to Talk about Your Kids How to Look Good on a Budget How to Get Rid of a Contentious Man How to Sober Up How to Care for Your Cat How to Trim Your Toenails Underwater How to Walk on Water How to Catch Flies How to Cure a Nosebleed How to Blow Your Nose How to Make a Pastry Castle How to Pack for a Journey How to Avoid Pregnancy How to Soothe a ChildHow to Clean Your Teeth How to Cure a Headache How to Give Someone Gas How to Grow a Beard How to Breed Horses How to Dress Your Child How to Care for Your Lute How to Dress for Dancing How to Slim Down in Fourteen Days How to Fatten Up How to Prevent Back Pain How to Ride a Horse How to Make Coffee How to Eat Soup How to Cure Seasickness How to Give Birth How to Have a Performing Dog How to Fold Fabulous Napkins How to Cure Laryngitis How to Catch a Ray How to Raise Your Child How to Interpret Dreams How to Swim Like a Man How to Cook a Porcupine How to Party Like a ScholarHow to Make a Dragon out of Fireworks How to Garden with Lobsters How to Exercise How to Wash Your Hair How to Kill Fleas How to Decorate the Table How to Tell Time How to Harvest the Mandrake How to Cure Insomnia How to Defend Yourself from Basil How to Train Your Cat to Do Tricks How to Make Dinner Conversation How to Treat Baldness How to Attract a Lover How to Train Your Sparrow Hawk How to Clear Your Head How to Increase Lust How to Make Your Own Lip Balm How to Interview People Abroad How to Avoid an Acquaintance How to Make a Tattoo How to Make Bird MissilesHow to Cure a Toothache How to Have a Beautiful Child How to Mix Drinks for Ladies How to Relieve Yourself How to Sing How to Serve Wine to Your Toddler How to Make a Giant Egg How to Heal All Wounds How to Care for Your Lawn How to Dress for Bathing How to Get Rich How to Caper in Water How to Change a Diaper How to Use an Orange How to Kill Snakes How to Belch Politely How to Tell Jokes How to Make Someone Die of Laughter How to Make French Toast How to Remove a Stain How to Prepare a Bath How to Be a Head Chef How to Make a Cheesy Omelet How to Cure PimplesHow to Dress for Cycling How to Recover From a Dance Mishap How to Drink Beer How to Converse How to Eat Politely How to Dance How to Get Rid of Mosquitoes How to Sleep While Traveling How to Cure Nausea How to Dress to Impress How to Make Yourself Invisible How to Put Out a Fire How to Whiten Your Teeth How to Charm a Man How to Sit at the Table How to Make Chocolate How to Stay Young How to Stay Healthy How to Make Ketchup How to Put the Moves on a Man How to Light a Fire How to Compliment a Lady How to Know If Death Is Imminent