The Gardener and the Carpenter: What the New Science of Child Development Tells Us About the Relationship Between Parents and Children

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Alison Gopnik The Gardener and the Carpenter What the New Science of Child Development Tells Us About the Relationship Between Parents and Children Farrar Straus and Giroux (2016) Title Page......Page 2 Copyright Notice......Page 4 Dedication......Page 5 Introduction: The Parent Paradoxes......Page 6 From Parenting to Being a Parent......Page 11 The Paradoxes......Page 12 The Paradoxes of Love......Page 13 The Paradoxes of Learning......Page 14 The Uniqueness of Childhood......Page 17 The Child Garden......Page 19 1. Against Parenting......Page 22 In Praise of Mess......Page 26 Exploring vs. Exploiting......Page 29 Protective Parents......Page 34 Two Pictures......Page 36 Beyond Just-So Stories......Page 40 The Paradox of Immaturity......Page 43 Learning, Culture, and Feedback Loops......Page 48 Variability: The Unknown Unknowns......Page 50 Back to Parenting......Page 52 3. The Evolution of Love......Page 53 Pair-Bonding: It’s Complicated......Page 55 Varieties of Love......Page 62 Grandmothers......Page 64 Alloparents......Page 67 The Commitment Puzzle......Page 69 The Roots of Commitment......Page 75 The Costs of Commitment......Page 76 Love and Parenting......Page 77 4. Learning Through Looking......Page 79 The Little Actors......Page 81 The Myth of Mirror Neurons......Page 83 The Birth of Imitation......Page 86 Learning About the World......Page 87 When Children Are Better Than Adults......Page 91 Overimitation......Page 94 Rituals......Page 96 Imitation Across Cultures......Page 99 Doing Things Together......Page 100 5. Learning Through Listening......Page 103 Learning from Testimony......Page 104 Being Sure of Yourself......Page 106 Who You Gonna Believe?......Page 107 Telling Stories......Page 110 Questions and Explanations......Page 116 Why Ask Why?......Page 119 The Essential Question......Page 122 Letting the Dude Figure It Out......Page 128 6. The Work of Play......Page 131 Rough-and-Tumble Rats......Page 134 Getting Into Everything......Page 136 Pop-Beads and Popper......Page 140 Making Believe......Page 142 Bayesian Babies......Page 143 Kinds of Minds......Page 148 Dancing Robots......Page 150 Beyond Miss Havisham......Page 152 7. Growing Up......Page 157 Apprenticeship......Page 161 Scholastic Skills......Page 164 Thinking Differently......Page 167 Attention Deficit Disorder......Page 169 Schooling and Learning......Page 172 The People in the Playground......Page 173 The Two Systems of Adolescence......Page 176 8. The Future and the Past: Children and Technology......Page 184 The Reading Brain......Page 188 The World of Screens......Page 193 Eden and Mad Max......Page 194 The Technological Ratchet......Page 195 The City of the Web......Page 199 What to Do?......Page 200 9. The Value of Children......Page 202 Private Ties and Public Policy......Page 208 Finding the Money......Page 209 The Old and the Young......Page 214 Work, Play, Art, Science......Page 216 Conclusion......Page 218 Notes......Page 221 Bibliography......Page 232 Acknowledgments......Page 252 Index......Page 254 Also by Alison Gopnik......Page 267 A Note About the Author......Page 268 Newsletter Sign-up......Page 269 Copyright......Page 274