Body Language For Dummies

Description

Are your words and your body telling the same story? Discover the impact that nonverbal behavior has on communication Much of a message’s meaning comes through what’s not being said. To master the art of clear communication, you need to be able to read others’ body language and remain mindful of the messages your own gestures, movements, and facial expressions are sending. Body Language For Dummies shows you how to interpret nonverbal cues at work and in your personal life. With the help of this easy-to-follow Dummies guide, you can navigate the gap between words and meaning―even in multicultural settings. Plus, this updated edition goes virtual, with new insights demonstrating the significance of facial expressions and body language in online vs. in-person meetings. • Gain insight into other people’s thoughts, feelings, and intentions • Develop an awareness of how your body language influences others’ opinions • Make the camera your friend during virtual meetings • Learn tips and tricks to uncover people’s real attitudes and motivations If you want to better understand others and improve your own communication skills (and who doesn’t?), this is the Dummies book for you. Title Page Copyright Page Table of Contents Introduction About This Book Conventions Used in This Book Foolish Assumptions How This Book Is Organized Part 1: Getting Started with Body Language Part 2: Starting at the Top Part 3: Letting the Limbs Do the Talking Part 4: Putting the Body into Social and Business Context Part 5: The Part of Tens Icons Used in This Book Beyond the Book Where to Go from Here Part 1 Getting Started with Body Language Chapter 1 Exploring the Fundamentals of Body Language Discovering How Body Language Conveys Messages Creating an impression within moments Transmitting messages unconsciously Substituting gestures for the spoken word Gesturing to illustrate what you’re saying Physically supporting the spoken word Revealing feelings, attitudes, and beliefs Examining Key Types of Gestures Signature gestures Unintentional gestures Micro-gestures Displacement gestures Universal gestures Smiling Blushing Crying Shrugging Getting the Most Out of Body Language Becoming spatially aware Anticipating movements Creating rapport through reflecting gestures Becoming who you want to be Reading the signs and responding appropriately Appreciating Cultural Differences Chapter 2 Looking Closer at Nonverbal Behavior Observing the History of Body Language Aping our ancestors Gesturing led to speech Understanding the Nuts and Bolts of Body Language Kinesics: The categories of gesture Emblems Illustrators Affect displays Regulators Adaptors Inborn responses Learned gestures Discovering actions for yourself Absorbed actions Trained actions Refined actions Spotting Differences in Body Language Offering a Final Word on Nonverbal Behaviors Part 2 Starting at the Top Chapter 3 Heading to the Heart of the Matter Demonstrating Power and Authority Signaling superiority Demonstrating arrogance and assertiveness Displaying aggression Showing disapproval Conveying rejection Catapulting Tossing your head Beckoning with your head Touching someone on the head Showing Agreement and Encouragement: The Nod Encouraging the speaker to continue Showing understanding Affirming with a micro-nod Displaying Attention and Interest Cocking your head Sitting tête à tête Indicating Submissiveness or Worry Dipping and ducking Cradling for comfort Clasping the head Showing Boredom Indicating That You’re Deep in Thought Head resting on hand Chin stroking Chapter 4 Watching Facial Expressions Letting Your Face Do the Talking Recognizing Facial Expressions Smiling with happiness Different types of smiles Revealing sadness Demonstrating disgust or contempt Conveying anger Distinguishing between surprise and fear Recognizing rapport Messing up the message Masking Emotions What’s hiding behind the mask Culture and display of emotion Chapter 5 Eyeing the Situation The Power of the Held Gaze Building rapport Intimating interest Creating intimate feelings Showing disapproval, disagreement, and other negative feelings Demonstrating dominance Scenario 1: Reprimanding Scenario 2: In conversation Scenario 3: Intimidating The power lift The Wandering Eye: Breaking Eye Contact The eye shuttle The sideways glance The eye dip Winking, blinking, and shutting you out Active eyebrows: The eyebrow flash Widening your eyes Flicking, flashing, and fluttering Eye movements and meaning Chapter 6 Mastering Lip Reading Revealing Thoughts, Intentions, and Emotions Tight lips A stiff upper lip Tight lips and a locked jaw Chewing on lips Loose lips Pouting, pursing, and puckering Differentiating Smiles The polite smile The tight-lipped smile The lopsided smile The drop-jaw smile The turn-away smile The full-blown grin Remembering that Laughter’s the Best Medicine Part 3 Letting the Limbs Do the Talking Chapter 7 Taking It from the Torso Gaining Insights into the Impact of Posture Evaluating what your posture says about you Indicating the intensity of feelings Revealing personality and character Identifying the Three Main Postures Standing Sitting Lying down Changing Attitudes by Changing Posture Using Posture to Aid Communication Demonstrating your status through postural position Leaning forward to show interest and liking Shrugging Signals Signaling a lack of knowledge Conveying unwillingness to get involved Implying a submissive apology Chapter 8 Arming Yourself Crossing Your Arms Setting boundaries Showing power Demonstrating self-restraint Sending mixed signals Masking insecurity Building rapport Responding to stress Conveying Friendliness, Honesty, and Joy The power of vulnerability Hugging, stroking, and rubbing Touching to Connect Creating a bond Demonstrating dominance Increasing your influence Reinforcing the message Chapter 9 Letting Your Hands Do the Talking Reading Palms The open-facing palm The downward-facing palm Closed-palm, finger-pointed Making a connection Hands Up! Hiding your hands The hand rub: Good for you or good for me? The folded hand The clenched hands In front of the face In the mid-position The fig leaf Letting the Fingers Do the Talking The precision grip The power grip The power chop The steeple Gesturing with your thumbs Analyzing Handshakes Deciding who reaches out first Conveying attitude The bone cruncher The wet fish The power shake The double-hander Taking Things in Hand The leach The space invader The firm shake Displacing Your Energy Drumming for relief Fiddling for comfort Hand to nose Hand to cheek Hand to chin Chapter 10 Standing Your Ground Taking a Stance Straddle stance Parallel stance Buttress stance Scissors stance Entwining your legs Reflecting Your Feelings in How You Position Your Feet Pointing toward the desired place Fidgeting feet Knotted ankles Twitching, flicking, or going in circles Walking Styles Chapter 11 Playing with Props Using Accessories to Reflect Mental States Showing inner turmoil Pausing for thought Through the Looking Glasses Stalling for time Scrutinizing the situation Controlling the conversation Showing resistance Appearing cool Wearing spectacles in the office Making It Up as You Go Along Makeup at the office Cosmetics for play Dressing the Part Women’s accessories Men’s accessories Part 4 Putting the Body into Social and Business Context Chapter 12 Being Aware of Space and Distance Understanding the Effect of Space Knowing Your Space The five zones Other territorial positions Using Space Demonstrating ownership Showing submission Guarding your space Revealing your comfort level Maintaining your personal space Considering Seating Arrangements Speaking in a relaxed setting Cooperating Combating and defending Keeping to yourself Creating equality Orientating Yourself Horizontally Vertically Lowering yourself Elevating yourself Asymmetrically Chapter 13 Rating, Dating, and Mating: Sensual and Sexual Body Language Attracting Someone’s Attention The stages of seduction Highlighting gender differences Walking, wiggling, and swaggering Other clues to watch for Showing that You’re Available Peeping at the many feminine courting gestures Head tossing and hair flicking Head canting Head dipping Pouting and wetting lips Self-touching Wrist exposure Fondling cylindrical objects Sideways glance Shoe dangle Leg twine Examining the few male courting gestures Recognizing dilated pupils: A universal sign of attraction Progressing through the Romance Matching each other’s behaviors Displaying that you belong together Chapter 14 Interviewing, Influencing, and Playing Politics Making a Great First Impression: The Interview Perfecting your interview behavior Using minimal gestures for maximum effect Creating a Positive Environment Demonstrating respect Establishing rapport Mirroring Matching Standing tall and holding your ground Moving with purpose Angling Your Body to Convey Attitudes Creating a relaxed attitude with the 45-degree angle Positioning yourself for cooperation Taking the pressure off Facing directly for serious answers Picking the power seats Considering the back of the chair Rolling on casters Gaining height advantage Placing the chair Negotiating Styles Claiming your space Getting acquainted with the environment Choosing a good seat Filling your space Displaying confidence Avoiding nervous gestures Opening or closing your fingers Carrying only what’s necessary Watching your buttons Chapter 15 Crossing the Cultural Divide Recognizing the Different Strokes for Different Folks Positioning yourself and setting boundaries Getting up close and personal Gearing up your greetings Acknowledging the no-touching rule Waving farewell Observing the Conventions of Higher- and Lower-Status Behavior Bowing, kneeling, and curtseying Standing to attention Getting Specific: Common Gestures, Multiple Interpretations Giving the thumbs-up . . . cautiously Ensuring that the okay sign really is okay Laughing your way into (and out of) trouble Avoiding Problems and not Causing Offense Smoothing over difficult situations Playing by the local rules: Eye contact Adapting your style for clear communication Chapter 16 Communicating in Challenging Circumstances Avoiding the Spread of Disease Adopting New Forms of Salutations High-five Fist bump Elbow bump Namaste pose Hand on heart Meeting Virtually Framing yourself Paying attention to posture Looking at the camera, not the screen Remembering to smile Paying attention to facial expressions Avoiding multitasking Gesturing with your hands Reading the room Part 5 The Part of Tens Chapter 17 Ten Ways to Read Other People Distinguishing Between Positive and Negative Body Language Pay Attention to the Voice Notice Their Breathing Patterns Look at Their Fingers Check Where They’re Leaning Watch Their Eyes Monitor Their Movements Notice the Nuances of Their Smile Look at Their Feet Take in the Whole Picture Chapter 18 Ten Ways to Demonstrate Confidence Claim Your Space Act Decisively Be Consistent Acknowledge Mistakes Persevere Model Excellence Demonstrate Comfort Speak Clearly, Concisely, and with Cadence Practice Public Speaking Act “As If” Chapter 19 Ten Ways to Improve Your Nonverbal Communication Take an Interest Know What You Want to Express Model Excellence Mirror Others Practice Gestures Develop Timing and Synchronization Dress the Part Act How You Want to Be Perceived Demonstrate Awareness Ask for Feedback Index About the Author EULA