Why Women Have Sex: Understanding Sexual Motivations from Adventure to Revenge

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Cindy M. Meston David M. Buss Why Women Have Sex Understanding Sexual Motivations from Adventure to Revenge Times Books (2009) Why Women Have Sex......Page 5 CONTENTS......Page 9 INTRODUCTION......Page 11 Inside the Sexual Mind......Page 12 1. What Turns Women On?......Page 24 Scent, Body, Face, Voice, Movement, Personality, and—Yes—Humor......Page 25 Where Attraction Begins......Page 27 The Scent of Sexiness......Page 29 The Power of a Man’s Musk......Page 32 Size Matters......Page 33 Fit for Sex......Page 35 The Face of Attraction......Page 36 Conventionally Handsome......Page 38 A Knee-Knocking Voice......Page 40 Something in the Way He Moves......Page 41 The Sexy Personality......Page 43 The Allure of Sexy Sons......Page 47 So, Do Opposites Attract?......Page 49 He’s My Type......Page 50 2. The Pleasure of It......Page 52 Sexual Gratification and Orgasm......Page 53 The Magic Touch......Page 54 Genital Arousal......Page 56 Penetration and the Elusive G-spot......Page 59 What Is an Orgasm?......Page 61 The Physical Experience of Orgasm......Page 63 The Psychological Experience of Orgasm......Page 65 How to Have an Orgasm......Page 66 With or Without a Partner......Page 68 Orgasm Problems......Page 70 The Rewards of Orgasm......Page 72 3. The Thing Called Love......Page 75 An Emotional and Spiritual Connection......Page 76 What Is Love?......Page 77 The Drug of Love......Page 80 Love, the Mental Disorder......Page 82 Forever Falling in Love......Page 83 The Love-Sex Link......Page 86 The Bonding-Sex Link......Page 90 When a Kiss Is Not Just a Kiss......Page 94 The Power of Petting......Page 95 Bonding in the Brain......Page 97 A Transcendental Experience......Page 99 The Evolution of Love and Bonding......Page 102 4. The Thrill of Conquest......Page 104 From Capturing a Mate to Poaching One......Page 105 A Matter of Attraction......Page 108 The Competitive Rhythms of Ovulation......Page 110 The Scarlet Reputation......Page 112 The Winner’s High......Page 114 Competing for the Committed Mate......Page 116 Tit for Tat......Page 118 Mate Poaching......Page 119 Revenge for Mate Poaching......Page 124 5. Green-Eyed Desire......Page 126 From Guarding a Mate to Trading Up......Page 127 The Puzzle of Jealousy......Page 128 Chastened by Force......Page 132 Provoking Jealousy......Page 134 Desperate Measures......Page 135 Mate Guarding......Page 137 Trading Up......Page 142 6. A Sense of Duty......Page 145 When Responsibility or Guilt Calls......Page 146 Mismatched Sex Drives......Page 148 Men Versus Women......Page 150 The Killjoys......Page 152 Conception to Chaos......Page 155 Rx for Sexual Dissatisfaction......Page 158 Psychological Turnoffs......Page 159 Frustrated and Bored......Page 161 Relationship Decay......Page 163 When You Want to Say No but Say Yes......Page 164 The Wifely Duty......Page 166 “Nice” Girls Sympathize......Page 168 Is Saying Yes to Unwanted Sex Ever a Good Idea?......Page 170 7. A Sense of Adventure......Page 174 When Curiosity, Variety— and Mate Evaluation—Beckon......Page 175 Valuing Virginity (or Not)......Page 177 Just Curious......Page 182 Taking a Test Drive......Page 185 Practice Makes Perfect......Page 187 Variety Is the Spice of a Sex Life......Page 191 An Adventurous Personality......Page 194 8. Barter and Trade......Page 197 The Value of Sex—Literally and Figuratively......Page 198 The Golden Egg......Page 202 The Sexual Economy of Prostitution......Page 204 Slavery and Desperation......Page 206 Hookers to Call Girls......Page 208 Sugar Babies and Their Sugar Daddies......Page 209 Sexual Bartering......Page 211 Friends-with-Benefits, Booty Calls, and Hooking Up......Page 214 Still Trading After All These Years......Page 217 9. The Ego Boost......Page 222 Body Image, Attention, Power, and Submission......Page 223 Feeling Attractive......Page 225 Breaking Up with Barbie......Page 227 Social Esteem......Page 229 The Attention Deficit......Page 233 Moving On......Page 234 Exerting Sexual Power......Page 237 Sexual Submission......Page 240 10. The Dark Side......Page 244 Sexual Deception, Punishment, and Abuse......Page 245 Deception in Dating......Page 246 Sexual Deception......Page 248 Defending Against Deception......Page 251 Drugging, Coercion, and Rape......Page 252 Sexual Abuse and Young Women......Page 254 Sexual Abuse in Committed Relationships......Page 258 Women’s Defenses Against Rape......Page 263 11. Sexual Medicine......Page 269 Better than Ibuprofen......Page 270 The Period for Sex......Page 273 The “Chill Out” Effect......Page 275 The Sleep Aid......Page 278 Stress as a Sexual Stimulant......Page 279 Love at First Fright......Page 281 The Sunnier Side of Sex......Page 282 The Mood Elixir......Page 285 One Is the Loneliest Number......Page 287 The Sex Diet......Page 290 Do It Till You Drop......Page 291 Booster Shots and Fringe Benefits......Page 293 CONCLUSION......Page 295 Women’s Sexual Complexities......Page 296 NOTES......Page 298 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS......Page 332 INDEX......Page 336 ABOUT THE AUTHORS......Page 361