Love and Freedom: Transcending Monogamy and Polyamory

Description

In Love and Freedom, Jorge Ferrer proposes a paradigm shift in how romantic relationships are conceptualized, a step forward in the evolution of modern relationships. In the same way that the transgender movement surmounted the gender binary, Ferrer defines how a parallel step can—and should—be taken with the relational style binary. This book offers the first systematic discussion of relationship modes beyond monogamy and polyamory, as well as introduces the notion of “relational freedom” as the capability to choose one’s relational style free from biological, psychological, and sociocultural conditionings. To achieve these goals, Ferrer first discusses a number of critical categories—specifically, monopride/polyphobia, and polypride/monophobia—that mediate the contemporary “mono–poly wars,” that is, the predicament of mutual competition among monogamists and polyamorists. The ideological nature of these “mono–poly wars” is demonstrated through a review of available empirical literature on the psychological health and relationship quality of monogamous and polyamorous individuals and couples. Then, after showing how monogamy and polyamory ultimately reinforce each other, Ferrer articulates three relational pathways to living in-between, through, and beyond the mono/poly binary: fluidity, hybridity, and transcendence. Moving beyond that binary opens a fuzzy, liminal, and multivocal relational space that Ferrer calls novogamy. In this groundbreaking book, readers will learn practical tools to not only transform jealousy, but also enhance their relational freedom while being aware of key issues of diversity and social justice. They will also learn novel criteria to evaluate the success of their intimate relationships, and be introduced to a transformed vision of romantic love beyond both monocentrism and emerging polynormativities. Cover Half Title page Series Page Title Page Copyright Page Dedication Contents Acknowledgments Introduction Outline of the Chapters Notes Chapter 1: Relational Freedom and the Crisis of Modern Relationships The Problems of Serial Monogamy Two Conflicting Human Needs The Need for Deep Structural Change Levels of Relational Conditioning Toward Relational Freedom The Right to Love Notes Chapter 2: Mononormativity, Polypride, and the “Mono–Poly Wars” The “Mono–Poly Wars” The Ideological Nature of the “Mono–Poly Wars” Beyond Hierarchy and Relativism Notes Chapter 3: Sympathetic Joy Sympathetic Joy and Jealousy in Relationships Genetic Selfishness: An Evolutionary Account of Jealousy and Monogamy Sympathetic Joy and Compersion Religious Decrees on Sexual Behavior: Justifying Jealousy Spirituality and Relationship Styles Taking Steps beyond Monogamy and Polyamory Notes Chapter 4: The Dawn of Transbinary Relationships Beyond the Mono/Poly Binary: An Outline of Transbinary Relational Modes and Pathways The Fluidity Mode The Hybridity Mode The Transcendence Mode Toward a Novogamous Society Notes Chapter 5: Relational Freedom and the Transformation of Intimate Relationships Steps toward Relational Freedom On the Seeming (Im-)Possibility of Relational Freedom Beyond Longevity: New Criteria for Relational Success The Future of Romance Notes Coda: After Covid-19 Appendix I: Ten Theses on Relationships Styles Appendix II: The Alpha Male versus the Omega Man References Index About the Author