Living on Automatic: How Emotional Conditioning Shapes Our Lives and Relationships

Description

Two veteran psychiatrists unravel the mystery of how thought and emotional patterns are passed from parents to children, generation after generation, "conditioning" each of us in ways that endure throughout our lives and affect all of our relationships. Living on Automatic not only introduces the concept of emotional conditioning, including how it occurs and becomes entrenched in our minds, but also explains how individuals can “decondition” themselves to become more adept at choosing and negotiating more rewarding relationships. Authored by two psychiatrists, the text draws from more than 80 years of their combined psychotherapy work with thousands of people. The authors focus on helping readers to understand their roles in relationships and to develop more rewarding relationships. Case studies and questions are provided to illustrate emotional conditioning and the personality roles that emerge from it. Readers will learn why people choose the mates that they do; why the ways we learn to relate as children often do not change later in life; and how to observe and engage in introspection to begin to decondition themselves from auto-pilot, knee-jerk emotional responses, allowing for the formation of better relationships with their spouse or partner, children, and other family members. Features: - Explores a groundbreaking concept developed by two psychiatrists with 80 years of combined experience in dynamic psychotherapy with almost 2,000 patients - Offers strategies to help readers liberate themselves from limiting ways of relating to others, avoid automatic emotional responses, live life with intention, and create happier relationships - Brings to life the principles presented through vignettes from dynamic psychotherapy treatment - Inclusive of the LGBT experience Cover Title Page Copyright Dedication Epigraph Contents Foreword Preface Acknowledgments Introduction Part One: Understanding Emotional Conditioning Chapter 1. How We Learn About Relationships Chapter 2. Emotional Conditioning Chapter 3. Seven Effects of Emotional Conditioning Chapter 4. The Omnipotent Personality Chapter 5. The Impotent Personality Part Two: Relationship Struggles: Miscommunications and Marriages Chapter 6. Why We Miscommunicate Chapter 7. Roles within Marriages Chapter 8. Conflicts in Marriage Chapter 9. Getting Divorced and Single Again Part Three: Solutions: Psychotherapy and Deconditioning Chapter 10. Emotional Illness and Therapy: The Deconditioning Process Chapter 11. What You Can Do to Decrease Living on Automatic Notes Suggested Reading and Viewing Index