I Never Knew I Had a Choice

Description

I Never Knew I Never Knew About the Authors vi Brief Contents Contents CHAPTER 1 • Invitation to Personal Learning and Growth 2 CHAPTER 2 • Reviewing Your Childhood and Adolescence 38 xi CHAPTER 3 • Adulthood and Autonomy 68 CHAPTER 4 • Your Body and Wellness 106 CHAPTER 6 • Love 170 CHAPTER 7 • Relationships 192 CHAPTER 8 • Becoming the Woman or Man You Want to Be 226 CHAPTER 9 • Sexuality 256 CHAPTER 10 • Work and Recreation 280 CHAPTER 11 • Loneliness and Solitude 314 CHAPTER 12 • Death and Loss 338 CHAPTER 13 • Meaning and Values 372 CHAPTER 14 • Pathways to Personal Growth 406 Preface xvi I Never Knew Invitation to Personal Learning and Growth We Do Have Choices! What Brings Us Happiness? Are You Ready to Change? MODELS FOR PERSONAL GROWTH Adjustment or Growth? A Humanistic Approach to Personal Growth Key Figures in Development of the Humanistic Approach Overview of Maslow’s Self-Actualization Theory Choice Theory Approach to Personal Growth ARE YOU AN ACTIVE LEARNER? TAKE TIME TO REFLECT MULTIPLE INTELLIGENCES AND GETTING THE MOST FROM THIS BOOK: SUMMARY Where Can I Go From Here? WEBSITE RESOURCES www.personal.psu.edu/bxb11/MI/MIQuiz.htm www.mentalhelp.net www.selfhelpgroups.org www.counseling.org www.apa.org Reviewing Your Childhood and Adolescence INFANCY EARLY CHILDHOOD IMPACT OF THE FIRST SIX YEARS OF LIFE TAKE TIME TO REFLECT MIDDLE CHILDHOOD Developing a Self-Concept Protecting the Self: Ego-Defense Mechanisms PUBESCENCE ADOLESCENCE SUMMARY Where Can I Go From Here? WEBSITE RESOURCES Adulthood and Autonomy Recognizing Early Learning and Decisions Learning to Dispute Self-Defeating Thinking Learning to Challenge Your Inner Parent and Your Inner Critic STAGES OF ADULTHOOD EARLY ADULTHOOD Provisional Adulthood Emerging Adulthood Entering the Twenties Transition From the Twenties to the Thirties TAKE TIME TO REFLECT MIDDLE ADULTHOOD The Late Thirties Life During the Forties LATE MIDDLE AGE The Fifties The Sixties LATE ADULTHOOD Themes During Late Adulthood Stereotypes of Late Adulthood Challenging the Stereotypes SUMMARY Where Can I Go From Here? WEBSITE RESOURCES www.seniornet.org Your Body and Wellness Wellness and Responsible Choices One Man’s Wellness Program Accepting Responsibility for Your Body TAKE TIME TO REFLECT MAINTAINING SOUND HEALTH PRACTICES Rest and Sleep Exercise and Fitness Diet and Nutrition Spirituality and Purpose in Life TAKE TIME TO REFLECT YOUR BODILY IDENTITY Experiencing and Expressing Yourself Through Your Body Body Image Weight and Your Body Image TAKE TIME TO REFLECT SUMMARY Where Can I Go From Here? WEBSITE RESOURCES www.goaskalice.columbia.edu www.cdc.gov www. mayoclinic.com www.mirror-mirror.org/eatdis.htm www.physicalfitness.org www.mypyramid.gov www.ncpad.org www.shapup.org 5 Managing Stress Environmental Sources of Stress Psychological Sources of Stress EFFECTS OF STRESS Resilience in Coping With Stress TAKE TIME TO REFLECT INEFFECTIVE REACTIONS TO STRESS Burnout as a Result of Continual Stress Defensive Behavior Drugs and Alcohol POSTTRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDERS SEXUAL EXPLOITATION The Trauma of Incest Date and Acquaintance Rape Sexual Harassment TAKE TIME TO REFLECT CONSTRUCTIVE RESPONSES TO STRESS Changing Self-Defeating Thoughts and Messages Suggestions for Managing Stress TIME MANAGEMENT MEDITATION MINDFULNESS DEEP RELAXATION YOGA THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE TAKE TIME TO REFLECT SUMMARY Where Can I Go From Here? WEBSITE RESOURCES www.chronicfatigue.org www.nationalwellness.org www.stress.org www.niaaa.nih.gov www.well.com/~woa www.workhealth.org www.algy.com/anxiety www.mindtools.com www.rainn.org www.ncptsd.va.gov/ncmain/index.jsp Where Am I Now? LEARNING TO LOVE AND APPRECIATE OURSELVES AUTHENTIC AND INAUTHENTIC LOVE TAKE TIME TO REFLECT BARRIERS TO LOVING AND BEING LOVED Myths and Misconceptions About Love Self-Doubt and Lack of Self-Love Our Fear of Love TAKE TIME TO REFLECT IS IT WORTH IT TO LOVE? SUMMARY Where Can I Go From Here? WEBSITE RESOURCES www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/LVindex.html 7 Relationships TAKE TIME TO REFLECT MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS: A PERSONAL VIEW TAKE TIME TO REFLECT ANGER AND CONFLICT IN RELATIONSHIPS Expressing Anger Constructively Addressing Conflict and Confrontation Effectively TAKE TIME TO REFLECT DEALING WITH COMMUNICATION BARRIERS Effective Personal Communication Communicating With Your Parents GAY AND LESBIAN RELATIONSHIPS Psychological Views of Homosexuality Prejudice and Discrimination Against Lesbians and Gay Men TAKE TIME TO REFLECT SEPARATION AND DIVORCE Finding New Ways of Being in Relationships When to Separate or Terminate a Significant Relationship Leaving Abusive Relationships Coping With Ending a Long-Term Relationship SUMMARY Where Can I Go From Here? WEBSITE RESOURCES www.wholefamily.com/indexIE.html www.divorcecentral.com www.buddybuddy.com www.hrc.org Becoming the Woman or Man You Want to Be The Value of Men’s Groups Roles That Alienate Men Stereotypical View of Males African American Masculinity Masculinity and Latino Cultures Asian American Masculinity The Price Men Pay for Remaining in Traditional Roles Challenging Traditional Male Roles TAKE TIME TO REFLECT FEMALE ROLES Traditional Roles for Women Challenging Traditional Female Roles Women and Work Choices Women in Dual-Career Families TAKE TIME TO REFLECT ALTERNATIVES TO RIGID GENDER-ROLE EXPECTATIONS Androgyny as an Alternative Gender-Role Transcendence TAKE TIME TO REFLECT SUMMARY Where Can I Go From Here? WEBSITE RESOURCES www.uiowa.edu/~commstud/resources/GenderMedia www.wcwonline.org www.mith2.umd.edu/WomensStudies www.feminist.org www.gendertalk.com 9 Sexuality DEVELOPING YOUR SEXUAL VALUES Sexual Abstinence as an Option Formulating Your Sexual Values and Ethics TAKE TIME TO REFLECT MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT SEXUALITY SEX AND GUILT Guilt Over Sexual Feelings Guilt Over Sexual Experiences TAKE TIME TO REFLECT LEARNING TO ENJOY SENSUALITY AND SEXUALITY Listening to Our Bodies Asking for What We Want SEX AND INTIMACY TAKE TIME TO REFLECT AIDS: A CONTEMPORARY CRISIS Basic Facts About AIDS OTHER SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED INFECTIONS TAKE TIME TO REFLECT SUMMARY Where Can I Go From Here? WEBSITE RESOURCES www.sexualhealth.com www.siecus.org www.qrd.org/QRD www.aegis.com www.cdc.gov/hiv 10 Work and Recreation CHOOSING AN OCCUPATION OR CAREER The Disadvantages of Choosing an Occupation Too Soon Factors in Career Decision Making Personality Types and Choosing a Career Realistic Types Investigative Types Artistic Types Social Types Enterprising Types Conventional Types Figure 10.1 Holland’s Hexagon TAKE TIME TO REFLECT THE PROCESS OF DECIDING ON A CAREER Personality Types and Careers Steps You Can Take TAKE TIME TO REFLECT CHOICES AT WORK The Dynamics of Discontent in Work Self-Esteem and Work Creating Meaning in Work Shifting Your Attitudes About Work CHANGING CAREERS IN MIDLIFE RETIREMENT Options at Retirement Adjustments at Retirement THE PLACE OF RECREATION IN YOUR LIFE Recreation and the Meaning of Your Life A Couple Who Are Able to Balance Work and Recreation TAKE TIME TO REFLECT SUMMARY Where Can I Go From Here? WEBSITE RESOURCES www.self-directed-search.com www.jobweb.org www.dol.gov www.elderhostel.org Loneliness and Solitude THE EXPERIENCE OF LONELINESS LEARNING TO CONFRONT THE FEAR OF LONELINESS CREATING OUR OWN LONELINESS TAKE TIME TO REFLECT LONELINESS AND OUR LIFE STAGES Loneliness and Childhood Loneliness and Adolescence Loneliness and Young Adulthood Loneliness and Middle Age Loneliness and the Later Years TIME ALONE AS A SOURCE OF STRENGTH SUMMARY Where Can I Go From Here? WEBSITE RESOURCES www.shyness.com 12 Death and Loss DEATH AND THE MEANING OF LIFE Choices in the Face of Death Lessons About Living From Those Who Are Dying TAKE TIME TO REFLECT SUICIDE: ULTIMATE CHOICE, ULTIMATE Reactions to Suicide Ending Life as an Act of Mercy FREEDOM IN DYING TAKE TIME TO REFLECT THE HOSPICE MOVEMENT THE STAGES OF DEATH AND LOSS Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance The Significance of the Stages of Dying A Task-Based Model for Coping with Dying GRIEVING OVER DEATH, SEPARATION, Allowing Yourself to Grieve Cultural Perspectives on Grieving A Relational Model of Death and Grieving BEING “DEAD” PSYCHOLOGICALLY AND SOCIALLY Are You Caught Up in Deadening Roles? Are You Alive to Your Senses and Your Body? Can You Be Spontaneous and Playful? Do You Listen to Your Feelings? Are Your Relationships Alive? Are You Alive Intellectually? Are You Alive Spiritually? How Well Are You Living? TAKE TIME TO REFLECT SUMMARY Where Can I Go From Here? WEBSITE RESOURCES www.npr.org/programs/death www.metanoia.org/suicide 13 Meaning and Values TAKE TIME TO REFLECT OUR SEARCH FOR MEANING AND PURPOSE THE FOUNDATIONS OF MEANING What Is the Meaning of Life? Developing a Philosophy of Life RELIGION/SPIRITUALITY AND MEANING OUR VALUES IN ACTION Values for Our Daughters Becoming Aware of How Your Values Operate TAKE TIME TO REFLECT EMBRACING DIVERSITY Embracing Versus Denying Our Cultural Heritage Stereotypes as Barriers to Understanding Others Becoming Aware of Our Prejudices and Responding to Racism White Privilege Breaking Down the Barriers That Separate Us Unity in Diversity Making the World a Better Place TAKE TIME TO REFLECT PROTECTING OUR PLANET The Problem of Global Warming Actions We Can Take to Protect Our Planet TAKE TIME TO REFLECT SUMMARY Where Can I Go From Here? WEBSITE RESOURCES www.webofculture.com www.spiritualityandpractice.com www.aaas.org/news/press_room/climate_change www. stopglobalwarming.org Pathways to Personal Growth Develop a Reading Program Continue Your Writing Program Practice Ongoing Self-Assessment Contemplate Self-Directed Behavior Change Take Advantage of Support Groups COUNSELING AS A PATH TO SELF-UNDERSTANDING DREAMS AS A PATH TO SELF-UNDERSTANDING Exploring the Meaning of Dreams Dare to Dream CONCLUDING COMMENTS Where Can I Go From Here? WEBSITE RESOURCES www.aamft.org www.mentalhelp.net www.psycom.net/depression.central.html 421 Photo Credits Index 433