Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life

Description

Portions of this book previously appeared in New York magazine. Dustwrapper - front ......Page 1 Flyleaf - 1 ......Page 2 Flyleaf - 2 ......Page 3 Half-title ......Page 4 Other books by Gail Sheehy ......Page 6 Title Page ......Page 8 Printer's imprint ......Page 9 Dedication ......Page 10 Contents ......Page 12 Author's Acknowledgments ......Page 16 Half-title (2) ......Page 18 PART ONE: Mysteries of the Life Cycle ......Page 20 1. Madness and Method ......Page 21 Is there Life after Youth? ......Page 29 2. Predictable Crises of Adulthood ......Page 39 Two Couples, Two Generations ......Page 41 The Developmental Ladder ......Page 44 PART TWO: Pulling up Roots ......Page 52 3. Breast to Breakaway ......Page 53 Our Merger and Seeker Selves ......Page 54 The Inner Custodian ......Page 56 Break ing away from the Inner Custodian ......Page 57 A first Solo Flight ......Page 59 4. Playing it to the Bust ......Page 63 5. "If I'm Late, start the Crisis without Me" ......Page 75 Seeking an Idea to believe in ......Page 77 Which Model, Hero, or Heroine to Copy? ......Page 80 "What am I going to do with my Life?" ......Page 82 6. The Urge to Merge ......Page 83 All you need is Love ......Page 84 The Piggyback Principle ......Page 85 Jailbreak Marriage ......Page 87 Openings ......Page 88 The Complete-Me Child ......Page 89 Compulsory Graffiti ......Page 90 The College Woman ......Page 91 Finding my "True Self" ......Page 92 7. Beginnings of the Couple Puzzle ......Page 93 PART THREE: The Trying Twenties ......Page 102 8. Getting off to a Running Start ......Page 103 I Should Be ... ......Page 105 The Power of Illusions ......Page 106 One True Course in Life ......Page 107 9. The One True Couple ......Page 109 Going Through Changes ......Page 116 10. Why Do Men Marry? ......Page 120 Safety ......Page 121 To get away from Home ......Page 124 Prestige or Practicality ......Page 125 11. Why can't a Woman be more like a Man and a Man less like a Racehorse? ......Page 127 The Bad Old Days ......Page 129 The Brave New Days ......Page 130 Fear of Success ......Page 133 Looking Past Our Noses ......Page 134 12. Sneak Preview: Men and Women Growing Up ......Page 137 The Responsive Man ......Page 139 The Initiating Woman ......Page 146 PART FOUR: Passage to the Thirties ......Page 156 13. Catch-30 ......Page 157 Catch-30 and the Couple ......Page 160 The Testimonial Woman ......Page 163 Wives' Work ......Page 165 Closed-Dyad Disease ......Page 166 Rooting and Extending ......Page 167 The Couple Knot ......Page 170 The Single Spot ......Page 182 The Rebound ......Page 185 PART FIVE: But I'm Unique ......Page 192 15. Men's Life Patterns ......Page 196 The Transient ......Page 197 Locked In ......Page 202 The Wunderkind ......Page 208 Never-Married Men, Paranurturers and Latency Boys ......Page 217 Integrators ......Page 220 16. Women's Life Patterns ......Page 223 The Caregiver ......Page 225 The Nurturer who defers Achievement ......Page 236 The Achiever who defers Nurturing ......Page 242 Late-Baby Superachievers ......Page 246 Integrators ......Page 254 Never-Married Women ......Page 256 Transients ......Page 257 PART SIX: Deadline Decade ......Page 260 17. Setting off on the Midlife Passage ......Page 261 Seeing the Dark at the End of the Tunnel ......Page 262 Change in Sense of Aliveness versus Stagnation ......Page 263 Change in Sense of Self and Others ......Page 264 De-Illusioning the Dream ......Page 265 Groping Toward Authenticity ......Page 266 From Disassembling to Renewal ......Page 268 Riding Out the Down Side ......Page 269 18. You are in Good Company ......Page 271 The Creative Crisis ......Page 274 The Spiritual Crisis ......Page 276 The Difference Between Midlife and Middle Age ......Page 277 19. The Age 35 Survey ......Page 279 The Crossroads for Women ......Page 280 The Re-potting of Priscilla Blum ......Page 286 20. The Age 40 Crucible ......Page 291 The Middle Manager ......Page 292 The Corporate Wunderkind ......Page 294 Letting Go of the Impossible Dream ......Page 297 The Problems of Generativity ......Page 299 The Courage for a Career Change ......Page 301 The Turnaround ......Page 302 21. Switch-40s and the Couple ......Page 304 Correcting Disparities in the Dream ......Page 306 The Envied Wife ......Page 307 Where have all the Children gone? ......Page 310 Mother's Release from the Nest ......Page 312 The Second Wind of the Citizen-Soldier ......Page 313 The "Who's Crazy?" Argument ......Page 320 Whodunit? ......Page 321 22. The Sexual Diamond ......Page 323 Facing the Facts of Male and Female Sexual Life Cycles ......Page 326 The Diverging Sexual Life Cycles ......Page 329 The Educated Male Orgasm ......Page 331 The Curious Ups and Downs of Testosterone ......Page 333 Mysteries of the Climacteric ......Page 334 Sex and Menopause ......Page 338 23. Living out the Fantasy ......Page 340 The Change-of-Life Affair ......Page 343 Busting Out ......Page 345 24. Living out the Reality ......Page 351 PART SEVEN: Renewal ......Page 360 25 Renewal ......Page 361 New Veins of Energy ......Page 362 A No-Panic Approach to Physical Aging ......Page 364 Redefined Attitudes Toward Money, Religion and Death ......Page 365 Companionship or a Zest for Aloneness ......Page 368 Approval of Oneself at Last ......Page 370 Notes and Sources ......Page 374 Bibliography ......Page 394 Index ......Page 402 Dustwrapper - rear ......Page 414