Show the Way Virtue Loom - Dao De Jing - Laozi - 道德經 - ⽼⼦

Description

DO NOT BUY THIS BOOK. Seriously. It's not going to make you rich, famous, or even remotely happy. It might, however, make you question everything you think you know, which, let's be honest, is probably a bunch of nonsense anyway.This is NOT a translation. It's a... reimagining of the Dao De Jing. The author, some guy named Dylan Pumpernickel (and apparently a mysterious "Haizi" person), decided to take one of the oldest, most revered texts in human history and... well, let's just say he made it his own. He claims it’s a 1:1 translation from the original, but who knows if he’s being serious, there are pictures of broccoli and someone falling into water for some reason.What's inside?Confusion. Lots of it. You'll find yourself staring at phrases like "metaphorical suicide, asap" and "augmenting, eek!" and wondering if you accidentally took the wrong kind of mushroom this morning.Annoyance. The author has a real hard-on for dismantling the concept of "Wuxing." He even provides a chart, just so you can see how much he hates it. Spoiler alert: it's a lot.Random bolding and underlining. Apparently, it has something to do with ancient bamboo slips, but honestly, it just looks like a toddler got loose with a highlighter.Insults. Oh yes, there are insults. Get ready to be called an "autistic fuck" (his words, not mine). He also takes shots at emperors, rich people, and anyone who enjoys a good, logical sentence.Pictures. There is an elephant. There are also some... other things.Why would you even consider this book?You hate money and want to get rid of itYou enjoy feeling bewildered and slightly offended.You're looking for a conversation starter that will immediately alienate 99% of the population.You're into collecting weird, obscure books that no one else has ever heard of.You’re into ancient philosophy, and are open to a very… unique interpretation of it.You're the author's mom. Hi, Mom!If you're still reading this, you're clearly a glutton for punishment. So go ahead, click that "Buy Now" button. But don't say I didn't warn you. This book is a void, a black hole of sense. It's the literary equivalent of staring into the sun while getting kicked in the shins. It's... well, it's something, alright.P.S. There's a section at the end about health that suggests you should massage your butthole. Just thought you should know.P.P.S. I'm pretty sure the author is mocking the entire concept of book summaries with this thing. So, mission accomplished, I guess?P.P.P.S. Don't buy this book. But if you do don't forget to also buy some collagen, NAC, glycine and glutamine, you're gonna need it.