How to Lose a Marathon: a Starter's Guide to Finishing in 26.2 Chapters

Description

In How to Lose a Marathon, Joel Cohen takes readers on a step-by-step journey from being a couch potato to being a couch potato who can finish a marathon. Through a hilarious combination of running tips, narrative, illustrations, and infographics, Cohen breaks down the misery that is forcing yourself to run. From chafing to the best times to run, explaining the phenomenon known as the "Oprah Line," and exposing the torture that is a premarathon expo, Cohen acts as your satirical guide to every aspect of the runner's experience. Offering both real advice and genuine commiseration with runners of all skill levels, How to Lose a Marathon lets you know that even if you believe that the "runner's high" is a complete myth, you can still survive all 26.2 miles of a marathon.;Cover; Title Page; Copyright Page; Dedication; AUTHOR'S NOTE; CONTENTS; INTRODUCTION; 1 HONEST SELF-ANALYSIS; 2 INSPIRATION FOR PERSPIRATION (AND EXPIRATION?); 3 OVERTHINK AND UNDER-RUN; 4 RUN!; 5 I'M NOT THEM; 6 YOUR FIRST FIRST; 7 TRUE CONFESSIONS: WHY I DID IT; 8 LET'S TAKE THIS TO THE NEXT ILLOGICAL LEVEL; 9 COMMIT YOURSELF TO AN INSTITUTION; 10 WORK OUT YOUR WALLET; 11 TRAIN; 12 TRAIN YOURSELF TO TRAIN BETTER; 13 ASPIRE TO BE BRAIN-DEAD; 14 ALL ABOUT THAT PACE; 15 SMART TO FINISH; 16 EAT DISGUSTING THINGS; 17 DON'T GET HURT; 18 APPRECIATE THE GOOD STUFF; 19 DON'T GET HURT 2: THE INJURING. Cover Title Page Copyright Page Dedication AUTHOR'S NOTE CONTENTS INTRODUCTION 1 HONEST SELF-ANALYSIS 2 INSPIRATION FOR PERSPIRATION (AND EXPIRATION?) 3 OVERTHINK AND UNDER-RUN 4 RUN! 5 I'M NOT THEM 6 YOUR FIRST FIRST 7 TRUE CONFESSIONS: WHY I DID IT 8 LET'S TAKE THIS TO THE NEXT ILLOGICAL LEVEL 9 COMMIT YOURSELF TO AN INSTITUTION 10 WORK OUT YOUR WALLET 11 TRAIN 12 TRAIN YOURSELF TO TRAIN BETTER 13 ASPIRE TO BE BRAIN-DEAD 14 ALL ABOUT THAT PACE 15 SMART TO FINISH 16 EAT DISGUSTING THINGS 17 DON'T GET HURT 18 APPRECIATE THE GOOD STUFF 19 DON'T GET HURT 2: THE INJURING. 20 THE QUEST BEGINS21 TEAMWORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK 22 SURVIVE THE EXPO 23 MARATHON EVE 24 THE LONGEST JOURNEY BEGINS WITH A SINGLE CAB RIDE 25 MARATHON 26 COME TO TERMS WITH YOUR FAILURE 26.2 WORLD'S SHORTEST EPILOGUE THE MOST BORING APPENDIX EVER WRITTEN GLOSSARY FOR YOUR LISTENING DISTRACTION THANKS.