500 Dates: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the Online Dating Wars

Description

Now several years post-divorce, relationship expert and humorist Mark Miller has experienced more than five hundred first dates. In 500 Dates, composed of fifty-five humor essays, Miller features the highlights and lowlights of those dates. Among the true dating tales and revelations you will find in this book are: How Miller and his date learned the limitations of a man being too emotionally expressive. (Most guys consider revealing more about themselves emotionally and communicating on a deeper level nearly as enjoyable as falling face-first onto an ice pick or spending the rest of eternit.  Read more... Abstract: Now several years post-divorce, relationship expert and humorist Mark Miller has experienced more than five hundred first dates. In 500 Dates, composed of fifty-five humor essays, Miller features the highlights and lowlights of those dates. Among the true dating tales and revelations you will find in this book are: How Miller and his date learned the limitations of a man being too emotionally expressive. (Most guys consider revealing more about themselves emotionally and communicating on a deeper level nearly as enjoyable as falling face-first onto an ice pick or spending the rest of eternit Content: Cover Title Page Copyright Dedication Acknowledgements Contents Foreword By Julie Spira, Publisher and Editor-in-Chief at Cyber-Dating Expert Introduction From King of the Dweebs to King of the Dates Section One: My 500 Dates Part A: I Dip a Novice Toe into the Dating Pool You Don't Have to Visit China to See Red Flags Dating Women I Can't Afford Does Dating Happiness Come From the Heart or the Wallet? Love and Life on the Rebound What's Love Got to Do with It? The Hottest Date I've Ever Had Making Scents of Being Single A Challenge to My Fellow Dating Cowards. Part B: Look at Me-I'm a Dating Professional!Stop Me Before I Share Again! Dating? Think of It as Job Training I Confess: I Love Jewish Women! Unhappy New Year! How Not to Rock Your Date's World The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past Speed Loving: Recipe for Disaster Special Delivery Don't You Feel Happy When Your Friend Finds True Love? Do I Need a 12-Step Program for Serial Daters? Part C: Help! I'm Drowning in the Dating Ocean! I've Had 500 Dates-Kill Me Now Coffee Date's Hidden Thoughts-Revealed! Damn You, Foundation of Friendship! I'm Not Asking for the Moon and the Stars. A Letter to My Future Soul MateA Personal Invitation to Share My Dating Pain Help! My Girlfriend and Ex-Wife Are Hitting It Off! Writing is My Lady I Was a Woman's Last Online Dating Hope Finding a Soul Mate is a Numbers Game, Actually The Sounds of Dating Silence Death of a Relationship When the Music's Over The Less I See You, The More I Love You Section Two: My Observations on Dating & Romance Whatever Happened to Woo? Mistakes Men Make in Romance A Woman's Guide to the Inner Workings of a Man's Brain How Internet Dating Beats the Pants Off Off-Line Dating! It's a Woman's World-We Men Only Date in ItThanksgivukkah: Not the Only Pairing That Can Benefit You Romantically Going for the Dating Gold Male-to-Female Dating Dictionary Never Underestimate the Importance of Proper Eye Contact Saying it without Words Oh, Come On, It'll Be Fun! Official Soul Mate Determination Test for Women Only Pillow Talk: A User's Guide Relationships 101 Test-a-Jew How to Seduce a Jewish Woman Interpolitical Dating Tips Psssst, Men-Beware of These Potential Dating Disasters Section Three: Dating Fantasies I Finally Found the Perfect Woman. There Truly is Someone for EveryoneJust Another Fairly Tale Romance The Continuing Adventures of Shlomo Rabinowitz: Jewish Private Eye & Dating Specialist Dating Boot Camp Skip Dating-Go Directly to Marriage Section Four: Fun "News" Stories I Wrote About Romance, Dating, and the Sexes Female God Recalls Man for Repairs 5 Biggest Secrets Women Don't Want Men to Know Amish Phone Sex Chat Line a Huge Hit 10 Best Opening Lines to Get Republican Women into Bed Spain Claims It Originated French Kissing-and Sues France for 6 Billion!