Secret Shame: A Survivor's Guide to Understanding Male Sexual Abuse and Male Sexual Development

Description

Sexual abuse is the secret shame that lies deep within. Men hold onto this secret shame for an average of 25 years before they disclose the hurt and pain they have endured and carried by sexual abuse perpetrated by another male. As men disclose their abuse, it is important to examine how the abuse changed their thinking and behavior. A good majority of men were abused before puberty. The research shows that men on average are abused around the age of eight or nine while in the latency stage of development. The disruption of this phase created a stirring of sexual curiosity and desire that was awakened before its time.This early awakening has a direct effect on behavior. Boys may tend to seek out further sexual exploration, have an increased interest in pornography, seek out their abuser and initiate sexual activity, or may be driven to initiate sexual acts with others long before the natural instinct of puberty and progression into adolescent desires instinctively emerge. The latency disruption sets the stage for acts of sexual impulsivity and compulsivity, but can also lead to emotional dysregulation, sexual anorexia, and sexual dysfunction in adulthood.Men who have experienced sexual abuse deserve to be heard and to heal! The wounded inner child deserves to be comforted and protected. The lies men have told themselves must be confronted and dispelled. The adult deserves to be free of the impact of sexual abuse and move into living a happy life free of emotional, physical, relational and sexual dysfunction, and sexual compulsivity. My hope is that by reading these pages, men can find hope for themselves by making sense of their experience and find healing for the secret shame that has kept them from developing into the men they were intended to be. The road to healing begins now!