You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters

Description

"At work, we're taught to lead the conversation. On social media, we shape our personal narratives. At parties, we talk over one another. So do our politicians. We're not listening. And no one is listening to us. Despite living in a world where technology allows constant digital communication and opportunities to connect, it seems no one is really listening or even knows how. And it's making us lonelier, more isolated, and less tolerant than ever before. A listener by trade, New York Times contributor Kate Murphy wanted to know how we got here. In this always illuminating and often humorous deep dive, Murphy explains why we're not listening, what it's doing to us, and how we can reverse the trend. She makes accessible the psychology, neuroscience, and sociology of listening while also introducing us to some of the best listeners out there (including a CIA agent, focus group moderator, bartender, radio producer, and top furniture salesman). Equal parts cutting expose, rousing call to action, and practical advice, You're Not Listening is to listening what Susan Cain's Quiet was to introversion. It's time to stop talking and start listening"-- Despite constant digital communication we are lonelier, more isolated, and less tolerant than ever before. Murphy explains why we're not listening, what it's doing to us, and how we can reverse the trend. She makes accessible the psychology, neuroscience, and sociology of listening while also introducing us to some of the best listeners out there. It's time to stop talking and start listening. -- adapted from jacket  Read more... The lost art of listening -- That syncing feeling : The neuroscience of listening -- Listening to your curiosity : What we can learn from toddlers -- I know what you're going to say : Assumptions as earplugs -- The tone-deaf response : Why people would rather talk to their dog -- Talking like a tortoise, thinking like a hare : The speech-thought differential -- Listening to opposing views : why it feels like being chased by a bear -- Focusing on what's important : Listening in the age of big data -- Improvisational listening : A funny thing happened on the way to work -- Conversational sensitivity : What Terry Gross, LBJ, and con men have in common -- Listening to yourself : The voluble inner voice -- Supporting, not shifting, the conversation -- Hammers, anvils, and stirrups : Turning sound waves into brain waves -- Addicted to distraction -- What worlds conceal and silences reveal -- The morality of listening : Why gossip is good for you -- When to stop listening.