The Cooking Caveman: How to Lose Weight, Eat Healthy, Create Mouthwatering Paleo Recipes, and Piss Off All Your Friends!

Description

Did you know that cavemen didn't have cancer? They didn't have heart disease either. Nor did they have diabetes. They didn't even have tooth decay! Yeah, I didn't know that shit either. My first question was, "How do 'they' know?" But they know.This isn't a book about archeology or anthropology, so you'll have to look up that research on your own, you lazy bastards. This is a book on how what many people perceive to be a "fad" diet transformed me into a healthy, skinny, ripped human machine, without much exercise at all."Too good to be true," you ask? "What's this jerk-wad trying to sell me? What do I have to do, read his book, and then buy the diet plan (sold separately) to get his secret? What a rip-off artist!"Nope, nothing to buy (except this book, you cheap bastards) because I found the diet all by myself on the Internet, free of charge! There are several books out there on the Caveman Diet, also known as the Paleo Diet, but it's so simple (a caveman could do it), and there's so much info out there, I think those books are a rip-off. Now my next cookbook, that's a different story altogether! Get those credit cards ready, you fat bastards, I've already started on my second book!You're about to read how I, a lowly Emmy Award-winning writer/producer/voice actor/director, accidentally stumbled upon the Caveman Diet, and how it transformed my body, my mind, and my spirit, and in doing so alienated me from almost everyone! It limited the ingredients I could eat yet sparked my creativity and made me into a pretty amazing cook, if I do say so myself ('cause I certainly wasn't when I started).Healthy eating and dieting does not mean deprivation. I promise you, if I can do this, anyone can do this. It just takes a commitment to change for the better. I am in the best shape of my life, rarely exercise, and I eat LIKE A KING!