Kids Are Turds: Brutally Honest Humor for the Pooped-Out Parent

Description

When do you know for sure that you've become a parent? For Jenny Schoberl, it wasn't when a human fell out of her lady parts or the first time her baby said #x93;Mama." It was when she found herself, a grown woman, hiding in the bathroom to eat a candy bar, just so she didn't have to share. Parenthood changes people's lives in horrifying and inevitable ways. No matter how hard you resist, you soon find yourself being that parent far too often to deny it. It won't be long before mom jeans and minivans are calling your name. Discussing bowel movements over dinner? Guilty. Peeing with an audience? Ch.;Intro; Title Page; Copyright; Contents; Introduction: Mom Jeans Anonymous; 1. A Is for A-hole, B Is for Big Fat Baby; 2. Who Needs the Bahamas When We Have Target?; 3. If I Call Dinner â#x80;#x9C;Din-Dinâ#x80;#x9D; One More Time, Please Punch Me in the Uterus; 4. MINE is a 4-Letter Word; 5. The Tale of Chicken Doodoo, and Why Moms Canâ#x80;#x99;t Fart; 6. How to Manipulate Your Kids into Reliving Your Childhood; 7. Cartoons are My Crack, and Dora is My Dealer; 8. Washable, My Ass!; 9. How My Vagina Birthed a Nudist Colony; 10. OPK (Other Peopleâ#x80;#x99;s Kids), and Why They Are Like Farts.